"You are more precious than rubies."
This couple made the difficult decision that once their son was born, his wife (the mom) would stay home and care for their son, house and home.
But it wasn't long before this husband realized something incredibly important. He could not afford for his wife to stay home. Keep reading..there's a twist and it made me smile with joy as he expressed his appreciation for his wife and her work!!
The Bible teaches us, "Always, giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:20
Steven Nelms has been married to wife, Gloriana (Glory for short) for 3 years. Together, they have a two-year-old son named Ezra.
When Steven and Glory got married, Glory worked while Steven finished up school. Once their son was born, it didn’t seem financially possible for Glory to go back to work. Nelms explains.
“With childcare costs it would’ve been a wash with her income at best. So we decided that she would stay home as long as it made sense.”
In an attempt to appreciate all of the work Glory does for the family, he put a numerical value on it. Nelms posted this profound essay entitled "We Are Glory."
“I’ve had this thought in my head for a while now. I’ve been thinking that I can’t afford for my wife to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. Now, I don’t at all mean to offend anyone with this post. I just have to say that for me personally, I can’t afford it… I mean that I quite literally cannot afford my wife to be staying at home. Here’s why…
My wife stays home and takes care of our son every single day. She changes his diapers, feeds him, plays with him, puts him down for his nap, and comforts him when he’s upset. And that’s just the bare minimum.
A child can typically get that attention at a day-care. Let’s face it. In our day and age… there is a company ready and willing to do just about anything for our children. So while, yes, my wife is my son’s mother and it is a natural result of being a parent to love and care for your own child, there is also a very quantifiable dollar amount that can be attributed to the services rendered. I am in no way trying to simplify, objectify, or devalue the priceless love of a mother for her child.
But let’s be real. Pay day feels good for a reason. Because you’re seeing your hard work appreciated in a tangible way. And this is exactly why I can’t afford my wife being a Stay-At-Home Mom. The national average weekly salary for a full-time nanny is $705. That’s $36,660 a year.
We make ends meet comfortably and are by no means scraping the bottom of the barrel… [but] the services rendered of caring for our child every single day of the year would absorb the majority of our income. Flat out, no question, game over, I cannot afford my wife to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. And that’s just the beginning of it.
Nelms explains further based on his own personal findings:
Cleaning Service: $50-100 per visit once a week = $5,200 a year.
Personal Shopper (running the errands like buying groceries and “a new pack of white undershirts”): $65 per hour at 4 hours a week = $13,525 a year.
Chef (lunch and dinner): $240 a week = $12,480 a year.
“So far we’re looking at a grand total of $67,860! Remember, we’re working with extremely conservative averages here.”
Nelms takes it a step further:
Financial Assistant (paying the bills, finances, budgeting): $15 an hour — add $75 an hour if your wife plays a part in “professional interactions” like business dinners as, according to Nelms, the average for a PR assistant is $75 per hour.
Laundry: $25 a week, minimum.
“Let’s average 5 hours a week on financial services, 4 hours per business dinner (about 3 a year), and a weekly laundry service. Add that onto our very conservative estimates for childcare, house cleaning, and shopping, and that’s an annual salary of $73,960. Looking objectively at an almost insultingly conservative average of the services rendered, I cannot afford my wife.”
“My wife sometimes feels patronized when I ask her permission to buy something for myself. She feels like it’s my money and my name on the paycheck so I shouldn’t have to ask permission to get myself something every once in a while. The truth is, I’m ashamed of any time I’ve ever made her feel guilty or humored when she’s purchased something for herself. I’m ashamed that she has ever felt like she doesn’t have just as much right to our income as I do. The fact of the matter is that our income doesn’t even come close to covering what she does for our family. I would have to make over 100K to even begin to be able to cover my living expenses as well as employ my wife as a Stay-At-Home Mom!
In short, I can’t afford for my wife to stay at home. And I’ve tragically failed to show my wife the appreciation that she deserves. She loves me, loves our son, and loves our family, so obviously she isn’t doing any of those things for a paycheck or even for recognition. But it certainly doesn’t hurt to know that as a Stay-At-Home Mom her appraised salary is nearly double my actual income. So, in a very weird way, this is my way of saying how much I value my wife as the mother of my child and the one who always has my back no matter what. You are more precious than rubies. And I can’t afford you.“
Way to go, Steven and WELL SAID! Your powerful words will hopefully encourage others around you to determine for themselves what works for their household. Regardless, your words of love and appreciation for your wife and her work are beautiful! A model all husbands and wives can follow. Blessings on you, your wife and your son!
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